difficulty in overcoming…

September 4, 2009 parkis2

I faced a hard thing today. But I did it head-on even through the tears. I went to Sonny’s. Granted, I could only tackle the drive through this first time, but I did it. I felt so sorry for the young man taking my order and handing it out the window. I feebly explained that my husband had died and this was my first trip there without him. He was genuinely nice and appropriately sensitive. How can someone understand who hasn’t been through it? But then, who know what he’s been through? I think about that now. What has the person I’m talking to gone through? Have they had a bad day? I’m trying to be nicer because if you don’t know me, to look at me, you’d suspect nothing out of the ordinary.

I’ve thought about going to Sonny’s several times. After all it’s been over six months now. Many friends have said they would go with me. I just really wanted ribs and sweet bbq sauce. I REALLY wanted them tonight!! So after work I decided today would be the day. I gave my order and as I rounded the corner to pick it up the tears just started. Drat! I haven’t cried this whole week. I missed everything about Rod. He would call me at work sometimes on Friday and ask me, “Wanna meet me at Sonny’s for lunch?” It was always a sweet time.

He worked in Apopka and most days went to Sonnys for lunch with the church staff…but knowing how much I loved it, he’d go again to the one here in Eustis so I could enjoy it two or three times a week. He would simply order something different than he had eaten earlier. He never complained or groused about it. He did it because he loved me.

He had a special knack of making everyone he was with feel special. Our whole married life I was cherished. I could count on it. No matter what happened during my day, when I got home I was loved and cherished. Only God knows how much I miss that!!! I’ve never been a touchy feely person but oh how I miss his hugs and his, “Hey lady, how’d your day go?” There is something so wonderful about sharing the mundane things of your day with someone who cares.

There is still someone who cares…and I DO feel HIS hugs. My Father in Heaven cares about me and helps me every day to overcome the little things. Today he had to walk me through a BIG thing. But boy, those ribs were good!

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8 Comments Add your own

1. Cindy Curey | September 5, 2009 at 12:06 am

I do understand Paula. Some days, some night, some weeks are hard. One of the kids will tell me something and I will think I need to call Corky and tell him. We talked several times a day. How can you not miss those times. I thank God everyday for those Footprints still holding me up.

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2. eastlakecounty | September 5, 2009 at 1:04 am

I don’t know if this is scriptural, Paula, but I just know in my heart that those ribs were as sweet to Jesus as they were to you.

I’m glad I didn’t wait until tomorrow to come and read you.

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3. twicethefirsttime | September 6, 2009 at 7:13 pm

I love you, Mom, and I am SOOOOO very proud of you and your desire to carry on!

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4. Roselyn Prow | September 8, 2009 at 6:47 pm

Paula,
David helped me remember about Sonny’s. Most times,that time is a blur to me. They catered the Memorial because it was Rodney’s favorite place, and I remember the pastor talking about how they all went there. I think that this is so wonderful that you can use your thoughts and feelings to help reach the hearts of people.
Love, Auntie

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5. Onette | September 8, 2009 at 11:49 pm

Paula, I’m so proud of you. I know how hard it must be to do those things on your own. However we do know you are never alone. Thanks for sharing. Love You, Onette

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- 6. Hohmy | September 9, 2009 at 10:20 pm
  
  I am so thrilled you are pouring your feelings out in these blogs! They are incredible, and Yes I plan to share with the choir, I know there are several that could use these words!!
  
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7. Colleen Lackey | September 10, 2009 at 3:17 pm

You have blessed me today with your story. Love, Colleen

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8. Debbie Newton | September 10, 2009 at 3:32 pm

Hey Paula.. I dont know you but I was a member of UIP and just wanted to tell you how encouraging your words are. What you are doing is awesome and you will never know all the people you will reach in what you might consider a weakness…will turn out to be someone else’s strength.

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